3 Tips for Staying Sane in the Midst of Motherhood

All moms need friends for enrichment, encouragement & accountability. The support network of friends you surround yourself with will be the people you share, laugh and learn from. They will push you to be better & to reach your potential as a mother, friend and person. A lot of what helps us grow is who we hand around and spend time with….be deliberate about who you hang out with in motherhood- it can shape who you are and you are becoming in the journey of motherhood.

Who You Spend Time Says A lot about You!

If you were to think about the 5 people you spend the most time with on a regular basis – that would tell you a lot about yourself. We ARE the sum of the 5 people we spend the most time with. If you want to be upbeat and positive – then make sure the people you surround yourself with are as well. A great way to weed out moms you “bring you down” is to weed out the “Drama Mamas.”

No “Drama Mamas”

Gossip accomplishes nothing. Don’t hand around moms who gossip. Chances are if they are talking about someone behind their back they have or will gossip abut YOU!

Watch out for the Back-Handed Compliment. These are a sure sign of they say they like you, but have to make you feel badly or guilty at the same time. Chalk it up to a friend you don’t want to invest a lot of time and energy in.
Remember your kids are watching & learning from you all the time. Negativity breeds negativity. You can still be “real” about motherhood, but still be positive. Find the moms you can share the struggles of motherhood with, but will be positive in their overall approach about it.
Friends by Referral
Sometimes in motherhood friendships form out of convenience. Just because you see the same group of moms at basketball games or dances lessons doesn’t mean you have to invest your energy into them. You can be kind and nice to them, but not BFF’s.
Think of a friend you admire and that brings out the best in you. Look at her friends and ask her to include you with on outings to foster relationships with them. This is what I call “Friends By Referral.” It is a great way to meet new moms and friends by connecting with a mom you already like and trust!

No is a Four Letter Word.

I'll bet you think this trick is about the importance of telling your kids NO to discipline them. After all, we say NO all day to our kids. "NO! Don't touch the stove— it's hot!" Or "NO, you cannot ride your bike without a helmet!" Or "NOOOOOOO! You sure may not, under any circumstances, cut your own hair—or your sister's either!" This trick covers the other side of the NO coin for us moms: not taking NO for an answer and learning to trust your gut.

The first four-letter NO I ever got as a parent was right after my second daughter was born. We were told she was born with permanent hearing loss in both ears. By mainstream standards, she was deaf.

After getting my baby home from the hospital I was exhausted, depressed and didn't know what to do to help her. Realizing she could not hear my voice—indeed, that she had never heard my voice—I felt lost. Searching for guidance, I met with a group that helps parents develop a plan to help their newborn in cases like ours. The group was great in concept, but the execution of it did little more than damage my spirit. They listed everything my daughter would never be able to do as a hearing-impaired person which included: No appreciation for music, No dancing (because she won't be able to hear the music), No playing a musical instrument, No regular school, No talking on the telephone, No verbal speech, No hearing a smoke alarm if the house is on fire (that one really got me).

As this group of strangers mapped out my daughter's fate, I felt something tug at my gut and I just couldn't ignore it. Looking back—it was my intuition.

I know it to be true that, as moms, we have been given the gift of intuition. We know something to feel right or wrong in our gut. I've learned that, as women and especially as moms, we must trust our intuition, especially when someone or something is telling us NO while everything in our being is telling us the opposite.

That inner voice is the one we should trust above all others. I'm not sure why we talk over it or ignore it. What I do know is that thanks to my gut, we figured out the way to give Caroline a life with sound.

My daughter is now seven years old. These days, she wears high-powered digital hearing aids (with pink glittery ear molds, of course). Here is my list of things she has done and can currently do, all thanks to that tug in my gut (you have it, too) that made me hear NO as a four-letter word: Talk on the phone, hear the doorbell ring, hear the birds sing, hear her sister's laughing (and her sister's crying), play the piano, play soccer (on a team) and take gymnastic lessons and, of course, go to a regular school.

Someday, I'll be able to tell my daughter that I fought to figure out how she could experience what most of us take for granted—the gift of hearing—and in doing so, I heard my own inner voice and learned to trust my gut in the process.

3 Tips For Staying Sane in the Midst of Motherhood

All moms need friends for enrichment, encouragement & accountability. The support network of friends you surround yourself with will be the people you share, laugh and learn from. They will push you to be better & to reach your potential as a mother, friend and person. A lot of what helps us grow is who we hand around and spend time with….be deliberate about who you hang out with in motherhood- it can shape who you are and you are becoming in the journey of motherhood.

Who You Spend Time Says A lot about You!

If you were to think about the 5 people you spend the most time with on a regular basis – that would tell you a lot about yourself. We ARE the sum of the 5 people we spend the most time with. If you want to be upbeat and positive – then make sure the people you surround yourself with are as well. A great way to weed out moms you “bring you down” is to weed out the “Drama Mamas.”

No “Drama Mamas”

Gossip accomplishes nothing. Don’t hand around moms who gossip. Chances are if they are talking about someone behind their back they have or will gossip abut YOU!

Watch out for the Back-Handed Compliment. These are a sure sign of they say they like you, but have to make you feel badly or guilty at the same time. Chalk it up to a friend you don’t want to invest a lot of time and energy in.
Remember your kids are watching & learning from you all the time. Negativity breeds negativity. You can still be “real” about motherhood, but still be positive. Find the moms you can share the struggles of motherhood with, but will be positive in their overall approach about it.

Friends by Referral

Sometimes in motherhood friendships form out of convenience. Just because you see the same group of moms at basketball games or dances lessons doesn’t mean you have to invest your energy into them. You can be kind and nice to them, but not BFF’s.
Think of a friend you admire and that brings out the best in you. Look at her friends and ask her to include you with on outings to foster relationships with them. This is what I call “Friends By Referral.” It is a great way to meet new moms and friends by connecting with a mom you already like and trust!

The Gift of an Ordinary Day by Katrina Kenison

We're doing our book reviews in March 2010. This book should be included! Thank you to Erika of MountainGirlSilver who insisted (twice!) that I watch this.

This fantastic chapter read aloud by its author, Katrina Kenison, is a reminder that life is to be lived each day. As a mom who owns a successful business, I tend to work so much that I can miss these moments. I appreciate the wonderful reminder of what means the most to me. My two daughters.

From the first time I held a camera as a young girl, I have always photographed the ordinary days. That is what makes this extra meaningful to me. I absolutely love the message - I photograph my daughters when they laugh, when they cry, when they're just painting or crafting or watching tv. It's a documentary on a wonderful life. With family, we have love.

Thank you Katrina for the presentation. It's captivating.

Best wishes,
Susan Newton "The Shower Diva"

Mommy Magic 10 Tricks for Staying Sane in the Midst of Insanity!

Because I know you’re busy—hey, you’re a mom!—I’ve created a cheat sheet to help you as you move forward in your journey as a mom. The 10 things listed here have changed my life by helping me be a better mom, wife, friend, and overall person. If you practice them routinely, you will no longer need reminders or a cheat sheet; they will become a way of life!
One of my favorite ways to remember something until it is burned into my brain is to tear it out and tape it to my kitchen cabinet, the side of my computer screen, or even inside my calendar. I encourage you to tear out this page and place it where you can see it each day!
Remember, anyone can fill their day and be busy. The key is, being busy with a purpose!
* Have a sense of humor, and be able to laugh (even at yourself!).
* Find a group of women who lift you up and support your personal growth.
* Distance yourself from those who make you doubt yourself.
* Create a vision/purpose for your life outside of motherhood.
* Take time for yourself to recharge.
* Seek new opportunities to grow outside of your comfort zone.
* Listen to your intuition; trust your gut!
* Inspire others to grow and be better.
* Have fun…and be fun! Choose to be positive and surround yourself with positive people.
* Release the need to be perfect all the time. Imperfection is magical too!